H2 Film Premiere (Part 3: The After Party)

I’m no party animal. I rarely drink alcohol; I’m a sissy when it comes to staying up late; and if I’m going to be socializing, I prefer to do it over card games, video games, or some other activity so I can feel like I’m maximizing my time. Clubs are even worse, for my tastes, because they pack you in there like sheep and crank the music up to where you can’t hear someone yelling in your ear. Oh, and unless you count mosh pits, I don’t dance.

Even being the killjoy that I am, however, I wasn’t going to turn down a chance to go backstage with the Halloween II film crew for at least a few minutes. So, after the film, Tyler and Renae lent us their driver so we could follow them to some Hollywood club called “Mood.” We were the last to leave the theater (Tyler, you have too many fans), which meant that by the time we got there, the place was full, and the line to get in was already 100 people deep. Tyler had to come out and get us, else we might still be standing on the sidewalk.

Inside, we stood crushed against the wall, bleating helplessly and sarcastically asking ourselves why we didn’t hang out like this every night. Or so I assume. I couldn’t really hear anyone, but they looked about as comfortable as I felt. Once again, Tyler came to the rescue, guiding our small group into the roped-off VIP section. Even then, we were stopped momentarily by the bouncer. Evidently, Mandy has the look of a troublemaker. But she feigned innocence, and he actually bought it, so off we went.

Things were still packed inside this inner circle, but not as bad as out front or on the main floor. Nor was the music quite as loud. Tyler did his best to make introductions, having to stop every other second for another autograph or photo. He made sure Rob Zombie finally got a chance to meet me… (okay, so maybe it was the other way around). We also met the film’s editor, special effects designer, several cast members, and a slew of others. Rob’s wife, Sheri Moon Zombie, used my shoulder to climb over a lounge table. I thought that was funny only because we hadn’t even been introduced… though I did recognize her as the actress who plays Michael Myers’s mother. From the “small world” department, I bumped into a couple producer friends of mine — Keith Calder and Jessica Wu. I also ran into the Scot who had sat down next to us at the screening. Lucky for me I’d been nice to him, eh? At one point, both Tyler and I happened to look over while the man was doing his imitation of the bare-ass Battle of Stirling shot from Braveheart, proving to some relentless inquisitor that he wasn’t wearing underwear beneath his kilt. Who says timing isn’t everything?

We were only there for maybe a couple hours, because they closed the place down at midnight. No complaining from me, who by that time was dozing on my feet. Still, I have to ask: What kind of nightclub shuts down at midnight? In Cannes, the parties don’t start until midnight. But I digress. We bid our farewells to everyone we could catch on the way out (which weren’t many, as once again, those ushers were rather pushy), strolled back to the car along the Walk of Fame, and headed home. Just before getting on the 101 North to leave Hollywood, a girl in the backseat of the car next to us leaned out her window to vomit… into the 50-mph wind, of course, splattering herself and the side of her friend’s car in the process.

Ah, the glamour of Hollywood.

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